finally i get a chance to think. i can do this because i am pretty sure that there is no chance of any one actually reading this. okay, first things first. i still can't believe that i am a mommy, and it shocks me to think that this doesn't even feel weird or unnatural. i feel completely at home with having a little baby around. but i have to admit i do miss a few things, i don't have any friends or people who want to talk to me. i just wish that someone would give me a chance, i don't have anybody. all my "friends" are either pregnant themselves or can't stand the idea of hanging out with someone who has a baby because now there is someone more important than them around. i guess i shouldn't care so much, but i just can't help but feel that everyone has left me. i guess new mommies just have to get used to stuff like that. i'm hoping that i will be able to move out of the little apartment and finally get a moment of real family time with my new family. hopefully i will get that opportunity by the end of summer or at least by the end of the year. this seems good enough for now, i feel a little bit of relief just being able to write a few things down, just to read them for myself. i sound kind of selfish. NOTE TO SELF: work on that  | 